04 Mar “You’re in denial–I’m not. You are lying to everyone, including yourself–no one trusts you now.“
“I am always honest”, Bilta replies as he leans back in his chair at the cafe.
“Lies”, I reply as I take a sip from my taza, “it’s all lies–that’s your new default response. Look for an excuse to get out of your problem.”
I pause; I take another sip of coffee; I turn my head to look out the window at the surfers.
“You ever surf”, I ask Bilta as I turn my head back to him.
“Yeah, once”, he replies as he turns his head to look at the beach, “no… I’m kidding… that’s a lie.”
“You have to be in the moment”, I continue speaking as I turn my head back to the ocean, “you have to learn to be in harmony with the water–the power. Wait for the wave–let go of the ones that are not for you, yours. Patience and discipline to not attach, or try to catch every one, but instead to wait until it is time–maybe not perfect, but right. Don’t go for perfect–instead do what is right. It takes time–slowly, you will develop the ability from experience to know. It’s not something that you can learn from watching from the shore–you have to be in the water. You have to stick with it. In time, from catching waves, you will start to develop a keen sense of when it is time–and when to pass. If you go after one wave, you won’t be in position for the next one.”
“Are you still talking about surfing?”, Bilta replies as he turns his head back to me.
“I never talk about surfing.”
“What are you talking about then?”, he replies as he picks up his styrofoam cup and takes a sip of coffee.
“I’m literally just making this conversation so boring that you will leave and go on with your life”, I reply as I take another sip from my taza, “like… I don’t know why you are still here? You don’t find this boring?”
“I enjoy our conversations!”, Bilta replies as he drinks more coffee from his cup.
“I don’t”, I reply as I set my taza on the small wooden table.
“I want to go surfing”, he replies as he looks back towards the water, “I want to try!”
“I don’t care”, I pause, “I’m just trying to get you to leave. It’s up to you to decide what you will do next–I’m not your boss nor have any intentions of trying to control you.”
“So I can go surfing?”
“Bilta”, I reply as I lean back in the chair, “you need to ask yourself that question–as soon as you start being honest with yourself, then you can start, and will be, truthful to others.”
“I want to tell the truth.”
“I want a hamburger and fries.”
“What does that mean?”