28 Nov “There´s actually a point to having good self-confidence and not being relient on the opinion of others.”
“Yeah?”, the writer replies as he leans forward in his chair at the cafe by the beach, “why´s that?”
“You won´t be controlled. You won´t be someone´s bitch.”
“What´s that mean?”
“It means that you won´t have a master–you´ll be in control of your life. If you HAVE to please people, you will always be under their control. You won´t go anywhere, or not very far, in your life. You will always second guess yourself–what will that person think of what I´m doing? Will she be happy with me if I do that?”
“There you go.”
“So what do I do?”
“Be cool, dude.”
“Huh?”, the writer replies as he leans back.
“Have cool shit in your life. Surround yourself with cool shit. Make yourself cool af. By yourself, on your own, and without someone else, find your cool.”
“Where is my cool?”
“Only you know”, I reply as I take a sip from the taza, “that´s one of the greatest joys in life–looking for your cool shit that makes up you. Finding what make you cool, and feel cool, and, not necessarily, happy or good, but cool.”
“So go looking for cool shit?”
“Yeah, fuck it ALV why not?”
“What does cool shit look like?”
“Cool shit is in the eye of the beholder. It´s not something that I can say–you´ll know when you have cool shit. For some people, it will be this and for others it will be something else–this is what makes up your personality. It´s up to you–it´s personal. It´s probably lame af to others, but, to you, it is everything. It may be boring how cool that song is to you to others, but, to you, and, this is the point, it is cool as fuck.”
“I still want to be friends with the penguin.”
“I know, writer. You are super lame and finally had someone in your life. Maybe you can go back to the planet, on your own time, and feed your penguin friend another fish? I am sure that he would come back–especially if you have food for him.”
“You think that´s a good idea?”
“I think it´s a waste of time, personally, but the real question is do YOU think that is a good idea? I can´t tell you what you think or your opinion. You have to find it on your own.”
I pause; I take another sip of coffee; sometimes I´m brillant as shit.
“You”, I say to the writer as I set the taza on the small wooden table, “have to stop asking me these questions and start asking yourself these questions. Next time that you want to ask me my opinion or get an answer from me–ask yourself first. You´ll probably find that you can answer these questions yourself–you don´t need me. That´s when you are going to start being cool. That´s always when we start being friends–like real friends.”
“You´ll be my friend?”
“Ask yourself that question first?”
The writer pauses; this dude sucks.
“Ok”, he replies as he takes a sip from his styrofoam cup, “self–will this dude be my friend?”
Bilta pauses; I think he will be. He turns his head to look out the window; he turns his head back to me.
“I think that you will be my friend.”
I pause; this dude is so fucking lame.
“There you go, Bilta”, I reply as I lean back in my plastic recliner and turn my head to look out the window; there´s 7 surfers today.