05 Dec “Relax, agresivo. I know that you are having fun but you are bigger then them, and you are scaring the lwentqs.”
A small lwentq scurries away and into a bush on the side of the small river. I turn my head back to Bilta.
“You know”, I reply as I take a bite of my ham sandwich, “it may be fun and games to you–but you are a lot bigger then a lwentq and, to them, you are scary.”
“But, I´m just joking around!”, Bilta replies as he starts to pout.
“Take it easy, agresivo”, I reply as I pick up my soda, “it may be fun–but we are supposed to be hanging out. Relaxing. Enjoying the afternoon–also, I don´t think that it is funny?”
“You didn´t think that my impression of a digitaldinosaur attacking a city was funny?”
“Not really”, I say as I take another bite of my sandwich, “I actually don´t think that you are that funny–it´s kinda annoying actually. I have a hard time chilling with you. You just keep wanting to try to make me laugh–try to let it go and just take it easy. Like… you aren´t funny.”
I pause; I take another bite of my sandwich.
“I know that you think that you are funny. I know that your girlfriend laughs at your jokes. But… you should know. We are kinda getting annoyed with you. It´s not funny the person that constantly demands attention and then wastes our time.”
“But”, he replies as he turns his head to the bush, “I´m fucking hilarious.”
“We all live a lie to find solace in the emptiness of an empty life beyond what we reveal.”
“What does that mean?”
“I don´t know”, I reply as I take a sip of soda, “it was on the back of the box of cereal this morning. I thought it sounded kinda cool.”
“Yeah, that was epic.”
“Yeah, you know? I know.”
I take another bite of my sandwich.
I continue speaking, “you don´t have to tell me.”
“So like anyways… did you want to keep hiking or take a break to finish lunch?”
“I don´t want to be here.”
“I know”, I reply as I take a sip of soda, “all you do is complain.”
“I mean… the weather is hot. You aren´t laughing to my jokes anymore. I want to finish the report.”
“It will be there when you are done”, I reply as I put the last of the sandwich in my mouth, “haste makes waste. Just learn to stop for a moment–you have to learn how to do nothing.”
“How do I do nothing?”
“Basically, the opposite of what you are doing. Right now, just do the opposite.”
“So stop complaining? Enjoy the weather? Stop harassing the lwentqs?”
“Yeah”, I reply as I take a gulp of soda, “I´m not a doctor–but that´s kinda what I would prescribe for you; a homeopathic cure. Maybe we can actually start enjoying hanging out–maybe then we can be friends?”
“I want to be friends.”
“Yeah, everyone does. Take a number. Get in line.”
“Will you be my best friend?”
I roll my eyes; this dude is the worst.
“Will you give me a moment to think about it–see where it goes? Right now, I just want to enjoy this adventure. As you know, I´ve been very busy with the great penguin migration project and I finally have a moment to stop and unwind for a bit. Don´t fuck this up for me.”
Bilta pauses; he´s right!
“I AM fucking this up for you!”, he replies as he turns his head away and back to the small bush by the river, “about that… sorry.”