"It´s just you and your kayak going down the whitewater rapids--you can´t control the river." » Y G H M®: the stories, yo
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“It´s just you and your kayak going down the whitewater rapids–you can´t control the river.”

“It´s just you and your kayak going down the whitewater rapids–you can´t control the river.”

“Never been whitewater rafting or kayaking”, the writer replies.

“Yeah”, I reply as I pick up my taza, “I read about them in the Earth log´s. Looks like fun!”

“That´s cool–so do you want to get back to the 5 things about you?”

“Not really”, I say as I take a sip, “I prefer not to talk about me.”

“Oh!”, he replies as he takes a sip of his coffee, “that´s #1–you avoid being the center of attention or making the conversation about it.”

“I prefer not to crowd-source my life.  I like to keep my life and my family, and my business, to me–it´s a means of avoiding unnecessary drama.  You bring drama into my life–it is spills into my family´s life and in my business.  Best to avoid and handle your shit on your own, right?”

“I sense that we are getting to #2 fact about you?”


“What´s your favorite movie?”

“The one that I´m watching at the time?”

“That makes no sense.”

“I like to engage with the present moment–it´s been a while since I said that I like this or that.  I don´t think that way.  I am more interested in minimizing the selftalk and instead letting go to bring in what is currently going on.”

“That sounds profound!”

“I would have it no other way.”

I pause; maybe, I should give him a hand?

“Try this”, I say as I take another sip of coffee, “what was the last movie or digitalCD or thing that you bought.  Look at gathering actual evidence, not my speculaiton.  For example, you want to see how someone is doing? Ask them, ´what´s up?´” It´s a very easy way to break the ice and start getting some data–depending on how you ask, you can also gather non-verbal cues into the state of what´s going on and how things are.  I think that´s why it´s better to get on the phone–you´ll gather more data such as voice inflections and pauses which, with reasoning, can lead you to a more accurate bigger picture.  At the end of it though you have to start to care about the person, on an individual level–they can´t be THEY, it has to be that particular person.  Do you know them? Can you answer the 5 questions about them–look at that before trying to make the connection or to get them on your side, or in your camp, on your team.”

“Are we teammates?”

“I could see that–but still I want to get to know you better so I feel comfortable.  If you talk to someone in diress, the data that you gather is inaccurate; you can´t trust what someone says when you are pressuring them.  Make a friend–get comfortable.  That´s the key to building your team around you.  Listen twice before talking once.”

“I hear what you´re saying, dad”, HR replies as she pours the hot sauce on the palomitas, “but you ate the last of the digitalpapitas and you know that´s my favorite snack when I visit!”

“There´s more at the store?”

“Of course! There will always be more digitalpapitas–that´s not the point.  It´s about consideration of my feelings–you could have easily gone to the store to pick more up for me.”

“You always want someone to solve your problems?”

“It wasn´t my problem–it was your problem.  I just wonder sometimes if you really care of if you just let me hang out for my excellent sense of humor and biting social commentary?”


“I feel used.”

“I can go to the store now?”

“That misses the point–you can´t do anything in this moment that can change the past.  Instead you can use what you learn in this moment to make changes as you move forward–it´s using what you´re learning now to adapt to future situations.  You can´t control how life goes–but how you respond to it.  I hope that you use your guilt in this moment to make different choices in the future.  Also, I really like the digitalpapitas with digitalBBQ sauce–that´s my fav!”

“Now, you are just using me, HR!”

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