"I'm writing to you from this, like, dark cave, like, cyber cafe that is super legit but also seems super sketchy." » Y G H M®: the stories, yo
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“I’m writing to you from this, like, dark cave, like, cyber cafe that is super legit but also seems super sketchy.”

“I’m writing to you from this, like, dark cave, like, cyber cafe that is super legit but also seems super sketchy.”

“That’s cool, dad”, HR replies as she types on her keyboard in her dorm room, “so why are you telling me this?”

“Because I feel cool!”, I reply as I type on the keyboard, “I mean like really cool!”

“That’s because they prob have neon lights in the space that energize you.”

“Oh!”, I reply as I turn my head and look around at the space, “you’re right–it’s all neon and there’s like lots of lights. Actually, I’ve changed my mind–this is not like a dark cave. This is like a mirage in the desert–an illusion of prosperity in a wasteland.”

“Yeah”, HR replies as she keeps typing on her keyboard, “that’s great–so I have an assignment due that I’m trying to finish.”

“Oh!”, I reply as I keep looking around the space.

I pause; I pick up my taza of coffee; I take a sip; I set it down.

“Are you wondering”, I say to HR as I talk through the headset microphone, “why I am contacting you?”

“Because you’re lame?”

“Well”, I reply as I chuckle, “I won’t disagree with you on that–it’s because I have a mystery today on Planet OWNEM.”

“Oh interesting”, HR replies as she rolls her eyes.

“I can see you through the digitalcomputercamera”, I reply as I readjust my tie.

“Oh!”, she replies, “is that why you are dressed up, also?”

“Oh no! I have a meeting with a prospective writer today.  Want to be classy with some nice clothes. Right?”

“So what’s your mystery?”

“It’s simple”, I reply as I look at the small videoimage of me and adjust my tie some more, “gravity. The gravity is gone on this planet–it’s simply bolts and fasteners keeping everything in place.  It’s rather precarious the situation–the planet has stopped spinning.”

“Oh”, she replies as she keeps typing, “it’s a mechanicalplanet?”

“Yeah.  The inhabitants think that the nucleorcore has shorted out and the electricity is not powering the generators to create the turblunce that powers the hydrolic combustors.”

“Yeah.  I don’t know what means?”

“A wire may be damaged that is causing the thrusters to stop rotating the planet.  It’s kinda an electrical issue–so I’m going to do some diagnostics and see if I can determine where the issue is.”

“Oh ok.”


“So are you going to ask me why I contacted you?”


“Are you sure?”

“You are going to tell me anyways?”





I pause; I had something interesting to say.

“I forgot what I was going to say”, I tell HR as I pull up the schematic diagram of the power plan, “so you want pizza for dinner?”

“I would prefer Chinese food.”

“I would prefer you paying.”

“Pizza sounds good.”



“I’m going to get back to work”, I move the digitalmouse to the close button on the browser, “good luck on your assignment.”


“No prob.”



“Signing off, now.”


I close the browser; it looks like circuit 17a is the place to start.  I get up from my chair; I hand the attendent my 5 pesos; I leave the small cafe; amazing how neon works!

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