"This s*it is stressful, right?", I ask my companion robot as I put on my tie. » Y G H M®: the stories, yo
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“This s*it is stressful, right?”, I ask my companion robot as I put on my tie.

“This s*it is stressful, right?”, I ask my companion robot as I put on my tie.

“Well”, she replies as she straightens the windsor knot, “remember that you programmed me to help.”

“Yeah”, I reply as I turn my head to look at the mirror, “I agree but I think there´s a better way to go about it.”

This is my first day working in the call center on Planet MIDNT; been a while since I did shit like this.  I enjoyed my short stint teaching nativelingistical theory but, ultimately, it was not for me; I sigh.

Here goes nothing, I think.

You´re going to do great, my wife thinks back to me from our house in Dorinto.

Kill it at your job today, HR thinks from her 3rd class of the day in her college classroom.

Thanks, I think back to them, and, moments later, they get the charge, nearly, instantly.

“Remember”, my companion robot speaks to me, “that the secret is to make a good impression and then to keep to yourself–keep focused on producing assets and don´t be a drag: there´s always room for the person with a great attitude.”

“Yeah”, I reply as I open the door in the dressing room in the clothing department store, “I´m going to put my great attitude up your

Remember to pause before speaking, my wife thinks to me.

up your… I mean… Thanks!”, I tell my companion robot as I take a step out of the dressing room.

I hadn´t brought any ties, or dress clothes, for that matter, to my new job on this planet; a quick detour to look good on my first day.

“Ready to impress”, I tell my companion robot as we take a step out of the store and into the dark green smog of this planet; I wish they would do something about it, I think to no one.

“Well”, my companion robot replies, “that is your job–to find a way to make cleaning it profitable, right?”

“Yup”, I reply as I button my black blazer.


“So how´d it go?”, the doctor asks me as he types on his keyboard.

“Yeah”, I reply as I lean back in the chair in the small office, “I didn´t get the job.”

He continues typing the notes as he looks at the computer; what if we changed that? He leans back in his chair; as a second thought, he turns his head to me.

“Done?”

“Yeah”, I reply as I turn my head to look away and out the window, “more or less.”

That would be the third book in the series; these things are helping, a bit.


It´s late September 2010. I´ve just arrived in Bogota. I´m tired from the trip; perhaps, I slept a bit on the plane. I have one more flight to make before I get there; it leaves in about 45 minutes.

I take a sip of water from my aluminum bottle; it tastes a bit metallic; maybe, it´s just in my head.

I go back to the water fountain and fill it up again for the flight. Anything else?, I think as I prepare, mentally, for the next flight; more importantly, when I get there, what am I going to do; what is going to happen?I really don´t know; I just know that, in this moment, everything seems ok. Moments later, I get on the final flight; moments after that, I realize that I left the water bottle in the bathroom. I pause, for another moment, then I realize–

I´m ok.

I can survive without the water bottle; it´s ok–I´m ok.



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