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“Well… yeah… I don´t have money to pay someone to babysit you and we don´t have the resources to handle you.” (6/15/2018)

The dog in the corner in the kitchen tilts his head.

“Yeah”, I say as I lean forward and pick up my taza, “I don´t know.”

HR walks into the kitchen.

“I got a new t-shirt!”

I pause; wasn´t this a school day?

“Cool!”, I say as I lean back, “hey! How did your beach trip go with your girl wolfpack?”

She smiles.

“It was awesome! I got a prize for riding the mechanical bull for 18.29 nanoseconds. GIRL HERO, yo!”

“Um…”, I say as I sip the soda from the glass, “ok?”

“So HR”, my wife says as she reaches over for the bag of digitalpapitas, “why aren´t you going to school?”

HR pauses; how´s she know?

“The kids in the class are mean to me.”

“That´s not an excuse”, my wife says as she reaches into the bag, “you need to learn how to get along with people or get by somehow.”

“Yeah”, she says as she pulls a chair out from the table, “I know what you mean.”

My wife puts a handful of digitalpapitas into her mouth.

“It´s the real world”, she says as she chews, “that´s how shit goes.”

HR pauses; I don´t know.

My wife continues talking as she swallows the papitas, “there´s things more important.  If you don´t go to school, you can´t graduate.  If you don´t graduate, you can´t get a good job.  If you don´t get a good job, you don´t have money. If you don´t have money, you can´t buy me cool shit.  If you don´t buy me cool shit, you will be a loser. If you are a loser, no guy will like you. If no guy likes you, you will die alone.”

My wife pauses as she reaches for another handful.

“Like”, she says as she puts another handful into her mouth, “like we don´t really care…. I´m just saying that it´s going to suck. Like… you know… do whatever the fuck you want. But,”

She pauses; starts chewing the digitalpapitas; takes a sip of soda.

“Well”, she says as she continues, “… so like it´s going to suck.”

“But”, HR replies as she leans back in the chair.

She turns her head to look out the window; back to my wife; to me; to the dog in the corner; she pauses.

“Yeah.”

My wife grabs another handful of digitalpapitas.

“HR”, she says, “find a way. Find a way to get through it.”

“Hey”, I say as I reach over for the bag, “I have a story.”

HR pauses; looks at me.

“Yeah, sure, whatever.”

“Ok then”, I say as I lean back in the chair.

I continue talking as HR turns her head to me and my wife chews the food… my wife loves that shit.

“So HR”, I say as I lean forward and pick up my taza, “if I took you to a deserted field in a dangerous part of town at 3am. Would you be afraid?”

“Like”, HR says as she leans forward and reaches for the bag of digitalpapitas, “whatever. Your stories are lame… but ok… yeah.  I would be scared.”

“Why”, I ask as I lean back, “it´s a deserted field. The only person there is you.”

She pauses; maybe this idiot is on to something?

“Ok?”, she says as she puts a handful into her mouth.

“Yeah”, I reply as I reach for the digitalvegetables, “because you are not scared of others–you are scared of you. It goes back to the idea of intentions versus motives. You may have the best intentions in the world–but what are your motives? It may be a great idea to let that person cut in front of you when you are driving the spacejet–but are you doing it because you care or because you expect something in return? It could be something innocuous as a wave of gratitude or benign as a simple flick of the hand in acknowledgement. Is that your reasoning–or is it because it´s the right thing to do? The right thing to do is very challenging–that is life. Is it better to go the speed limit and arrive late to your child´s birth or to speed a little and get there on time–what to you is the right thing to do? Is shoplifting a little to help someone, acceptable? These questions you have to answer yourself–this is where your moral code of YOU and your ETHICS and your personal opinion come in. Ultimately, our system is developed around an idea that everyone has a different set of governing values–we have uniform standards for behavior, but the individual decides the action. It´s called mea culpa to say–I´m the one responsible. It may not get you friends and people may not like you at school, but you OWN your life–the consequences of your behaviors are you. But, like your mom said about going to college to get a good job to buy cool shit–that´s not a bad thing. Maybe the consequences of your actions help you–maybe this is where happiness is?”

“Yeah”, HR says as she chews the digitalpapitas, “that was actually kinda interesting.”

I pause; I wish I wrote that shit down.

“So like anyways”, she says as she slides the bag of digitalpapitas towards my wife, “you want to see the cool t-shirt I got for winning the mechanical bull riding contest?”

I pause; I look out the window; I look back to her.

“Yeah”, I say as I set my taza down and put the spoon into the digitalvegetables, “of course!”

Go to the >> Blog

“Yeah… I don´t know. I just write a blog and books about explotation and harassment”, the writer says. (6/14/2018)

“Yeah”, I reply as I take a sip of coffee, “that´s cool. So why did you want to meet me?”

He pauses; this is my chance.

“I want you to start a rumor about me on Dorinto.”

I pause; excuse me?

“Excuse me?”

He leans back in his chair; taking a sip of coffee, he sighs.

“I need publicity”, he says as he leans forward and sets his taza down, “I need grassroots advocacy and I think that the best way is to get people talking about me behind my back.”

I look away; there´s 14 surfers today.

“So anyways”, I reply as I pick up my taza, “what do you want me to say?”

“Ok”, he replies as he pulls a small piece of paper out of his pocket.

He starts reading the note.

“THAT dude has a crush on HER.”

I pause; that sounds easy.

“That sounds easy”, I reply as I lean back in my chair.

I look back out the window; now there´s 15 surfers.

“So”, I continue as I pick up my taza, “what do I get out of it?”

He pauses; let´s see if he takes up my offer.

“I´ll buy 7 digitalbooks from you”, he replies.

I pause; I sigh.

“Yeah”, I reply as I lean forward and pick up my biscotti off the tray, “that seems nice, but, the thing is–I don´t accept money from you.”

I pause, again.

“I´m going to

“Are you sure?”, he cuts in.

“I´m going to spread the rumor ´cause I think it´s the right thing to do. You don´t owe me–we´re fine.

He pauses; he doesn´t want anything?

“Ok.”


“So are you going to do it?”, my wife asks as she pulls the digitalcalabaza out of the microwave.

“You know”, I reply as I hit recline on my chair in the kitchen, “yes.”

“But”, she replies as she sets the platter on the table, “I didn´t think you liked him?”

“Exactly”, I reply as I reach over for a spoon, “that´s why I´m doing it.”

“I don´t understand.”

“You remember back on Earth what people would say about loaning someone $20?”

“Um…”, she says as she reaches for the digitaltea, “don´t spend it all in one place?”

“No”, I reply as I take a bite of the digitalturkey, “if a friend comes to you and needs money, and you loan them money, and they don´t pay you back, or you don´t see them again–it was money well spent. Like… if you loan a friend $20 and you don´t hear from them again, it was money well spent.”

“Yeah”, she replies as she takes a sip of digitaltea, “I don´t really know what the fuck you are talking about.”

“Yeah”, I reply as I take a sip of coffee, “you know.. I don´t really know what the fuck I´m talking about most of the time either. It, this mouth, just starts saying things–and I just kinda go with it?”

“I think you´re strange”, she replies as she takes another sip of digitaltea.

I chuckle.

“You married me”, I laugh as I put my spoon into the digitalcalabaza.

I laugh again.

“You married a strange guy, loser”, I chuckle again.

“Well”, she replies as she turns her head to me, “that can be changed.”

I pause; I think I´m supposed to shut up.

“Love you”, I reply as I take a sip of coffee and turn my head to look out the window.

“Yeah”, she replies as she takes another sip of digitaltea, “I know.”

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Captain Of Your Future

You just need a pep talk?

Go to >> Captain Of Your Future

“No”, HR says as she picks up the remote and turns the volume up on the TV, “I can understand what it must have been like.”

“UNDERSTANDING IS NOT KNOWING”, I REPLY AS I RECLINE THE CHAIR A LITTLE MORE.

Continuing, “you can know a math problem. You can know a capital.  Theses are facts; these are tangible; but, to know a situation–nah, you can understand intellectually. But to know emotionally only comes when you are in that same situation.  You can describe what it feels like to watch the sun rise from the ocean–but, until you know the beauty of the start of the day in the sand as the first rays wash over you–you don’t know it. I can imagine what it’s like for you to be in school–but as a women taking classes on another planet–I don’t know what it’s like, not really. In this way, experiences are transferred clumsily through language, pictures, videos, but without direct experience in that situation, we don’t know; do we really know each other?

Continue >>

A Daily Dose Of

What it´s really like, yo.

Go to >> Daily Dose Of

You Have the choice to Understand What You Tried To Do >> And The Reality of the situation

  1. Test

  2. Observe

  3. Understand

  4. Change

To Continue With my Theme of the 7 Step Cycle Of Action >>

It Would Be This:

1. Open – I Was open to creating a new blog post to test things out

2. Idea – I Had an idea of how I wanted it to look (and with so many other blogs, I knew The Appearance I Wanted For it.

Continue >>


Take Back Control

Secrets of the trade.

Go to >> Take Back Control

So here I am at Café Praga off Revolucion in downtown Tijuana at 10:15pm. Writing.

10:15 is interesting. It also happens to be my birthday – October 15th. In a weird sense, it reminds me that I am alive. It reminds me …. well…. better to look forward. I wonder how I will spend 10/15 this year. In years past, I’ve spent that day dancing in the desert of Arizona, mountaineering in Peru, collecting souvenirs in Praga, with most recently a small party in La Presa on the outskirts of the city eating pinguinos y tomando leche.

It’s been about four and a half years since I walked away from a promising career as an engineer. I returned to the old office this past week to find nothing had changed >> not drastically. I lasted thirty minutes there before I walked out.

I left a career where people can be paid $100k plus a year.

Continue >>

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SO… I´M VERY HAPPY IN MY LIFE.

I feel connected in my neighborhood. I am able to spend my time how I like. It took a lot of hard work to get here.

I didn´t think the response would be completely for me–but the negativity really surprised me.

IT´S LIKE YOU´VE GOT HATE MAIL.

I figure that there´s other people out there in a similiar situation.

That´s why I created this blog.

Continue >>

So where do

we go from

here, yo?

The road really never ends; it´s stop signs, and traffic lights--and continuing on and on-- and, as soon as you think that you are there, you must leave, to go someplace else.

Everything can change, today, by starting on THAT.

You're going to get 24 hours today

How will you use it?