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Jamie Smith >> I´m a man on a mission with an email, a blog and a couple books to help the neglected, down-trodden and rejected. The life choose me.

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“Careening in the direction of self-actualization, we dump everything that gives us pleasure and brings us down.” (9/29/2018)

I pause; I sip the coffee.

“We are wired for pleasure–so it makes sense that we would seek that–but, when we find it, do we let it go?”

“I have no clue what you´re talking about”, the writer replies as he turns to look out the window in the cafe at the beach.

“I want to live a life of pleasure–that´s how my mind works.  It makes sense that I would push myself towards pleasurable things and avoid the pain.  I would make my life a life a pleasure–I would enjoy my life, if it was pleasurable?”

“I don´t think that you would not enjoy your life, if it was all pleasurable?”

“You wouldn´t”, I reply as I take another sip of coffee, “a life of pleasure is anti-growth–it´s a pond stagnating with overgrowth.  It´s not alive–it´s avoidance.  What is pleasure? What is pain? What is worth the pain? Is pleasure greater then pain–are they two extremes and the right action, or path, is to navigate between the poles and instead live a true life, to you?”

“You do this”, the writer replies as he leans back in his chair, “you just start talking–it makes no sense.  I don´t even think that you are talking to me. Do you like to hear yourself talk?”

“How do you process your emotions, thoughts and feelings?”

“I don´t know”, he replies as he leans forward and picks up his coffee.

“For me”, I reply as I take another sip, “I need to see them–talking, or like you with your writing, is ultimately a discovery of self.  It is a means to see your intangible ideas–until, you can see them, can you understand them and if you don´t understand them, do you have peace?”

“I always feel good after I write”, he replies as he takes a sip of coffee.

“I guess”, I reply as I sip my coffee from the taza, “that if I don´t have a way to see them, I get confused–the misunderstand brain, thoughts, create chaos and control me; my actions are a byproduct of my thoughts based on my beliefs.”

“So writing and then reviewing; consideration of how I think”, he replies, “help me.”

“In this way, I have found something that helps me.”

“So why do you say these things?”

“Because this can be a way to study the penguins to learn more about them.”

“I don´t think that you can talk or write to a penguin, and we don´t understand them well enough to know how they communicate.”

“Instead”, I reply as I turn my head to look out the window, “we can talk about them and write about them–our subconcious manifest through art and writing can lead us to clues of our self-discovery on others.  Maybe we have seen what we need to see but, as of yet, have not made the jump to the conclusion–perhaps we have the data, evidence, but no way to examine it? Perhaps we are staring at the answer but don´t understand it?”

“Perhaps”, the writer replies, “we know but we don´t, really, know it.”

 

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“I´m a lover of the small things–holding hands, walking together, small gifts, intimate dinner.” I pause; I sigh. (9/28/2018)

“What happened to romance?”, the writer asks.

I shift in the seat; I turn my head to look out the window; I turn back to the writer.

“Now, guys, treat it more like bromance when they want something–romanticism is gone.  It´s an act; it´s a aggressive demand; respectful behavior is forbidden; instead–rush in to the relationship then plateau at partners–not lovers.”

“I think that my girlfriend and I do it right–we walk together to the local pond every night and watch the sunset.”

“Which sun is that?”, I ask as I think of the double suns and calculate the trajectories relative to the planal surface of the sphere upon which we both reside.

“The 2nd sun”, he replies as he turns his head to look out the window, “in the dusk, we are together as one.”

“That´s cute”, I reply as I take a sip of coffee from my taza, “so does it help your relationship–does it make it deeper?”

“It makes it matter–in these times, we don´t use the digitals at all and it´s a chance for us to unwind and be natural together.”

“I think it´s important to spend time directly in each other´s lives–to forgo the digitals and cultivate a sense of connectness through dialogue and touch.”

“We def touch”, he replies as he smiles.

“Yeah”, I reply as I take another sip of coffee, “I didn´t want to know that–it´s just that my wife and I have been drifting instead of connecting; I want to rekindle the flame–I want us to be close, again.”

“Try this”, the writer replies as he picks up his digitaltelephone.

Music starts playing as he swipes right on the device.

“I love to put some music on when we are together”, he replies as he turns the volume up, “I think it helps us to develop real-time present awareness of each other–from this, we can attune to each other´s small gestures that faciliate a deeper level of connection.”

“Like when she scolds at you?”

“Yes”, the writer replies as he turns down the music, “when she does that–and, I see it–then, I know that I am doing something that I shouldn´t be doing–communication without verbalization.  This is a deeper connection–it´s how we really act when we care and are with someone directly.  When we can see how they respond, then we can understand them and what they want better–words are clumsy, but instead we can see facial reactions, tense bodies and figgidty hands to understand the inner feelings that I person is going through–even, may not want to convey.”

“Yeah”, I reply as I lean back in my chair, “until we understand these–are we really communicating? Are we really connected? Are we really exchanging ideas, feelings and thoughts? Are we together or are we seperate?”

“Speaking of which”, he replies as he leans back in his chair at the small cafe by the beach, “are you paying for my coffee?”

“I enjoyed this conversation”, I reply as I pull my digitaltarjeta out of my pocket, “so I´ll pick up the tab on these coffees.”

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Captain Of Your Future

You just need a pep talk?

Go to >> Captain Of Your Future

“No”, HR says as she picks up the remote and turns the volume up on the TV, “I can understand what it must have been like.”

“UNDERSTANDING IS NOT KNOWING”, I REPLY AS I RECLINE THE CHAIR A LITTLE MORE.

Continuing, “you can know a math problem. You can know a capital.  Theses are facts; these are tangible; but, to know a situation–nah, you can understand intellectually. But to know emotionally only comes when you are in that same situation.  You can describe what it feels like to watch the sun rise from the ocean–but, until you know the beauty of the start of the day in the sand as the first rays wash over you–you don’t know it. I can imagine what it’s like for you to be in school–but as a women taking classes on another planet–I don’t know what it’s like, not really. In this way, experiences are transferred clumsily through language, pictures, videos, but without direct experience in that situation, we don’t know; do we really know each other?

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A Daily Dose Of

What it´s really like, yo.

Go to >> Daily Dose Of

You Have the choice to Understand What You Tried To Do >> And The Reality of the situation

  1. Test

  2. Observe

  3. Understand

  4. Change

To Continue With my Theme of the 7 Step Cycle Of Action >>

It Would Be This:

1. Open – I Was open to creating a new blog post to test things out

2. Idea – I Had an idea of how I wanted it to look (and with so many other blogs, I knew The Appearance I Wanted For it.

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Take Back Control

Secrets of the trade.

Go to >> Take Back Control

So here I am at Café Praga off Revolucion in downtown Tijuana at 10:15pm. Writing.

10:15 is interesting. It also happens to be my birthday – October 15th. In a weird sense, it reminds me that I am alive. It reminds me …. well…. better to look forward. I wonder how I will spend 10/15 this year. In years past, I’ve spent that day dancing in the desert of Arizona, mountaineering in Peru, collecting souvenirs in Praga, with most recently a small party in La Presa on the outskirts of the city eating pinguinos y tomando leche.

It’s been about four and a half years since I walked away from a promising career as an engineer. I returned to the old office this past week to find nothing had changed >> not drastically. I lasted thirty minutes there before I walked out.

I left a career where people can be paid $100k plus a year.

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SO… I´M VERY HAPPY IN MY LIFE.

I feel connected in my neighborhood. I am able to spend my time how I like. It took a lot of hard work to get here.

I didn´t think the response would be completely for me–but the negativity really surprised me.

IT´S LIKE YOU´VE GOT HATE MAIL.

I figure that there´s other people out there in a similiar situation.

That´s why I created this blog.

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