Feel That Urgency? » Y G H M®: the stories, yo
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Feel That Urgency?

“You are so stupid, Bilta; like… next level dumb”, I continue as I look at his yellow shoes, “are those actual, real, bananas, yo?” (5/15/2019)- “It’s the new style, yo”, he replies as he picks up his foot and stretches it towards me, “the fresher the fruit–the cooler that you are.” “I feel like cool is not the word that I would use to describe your edible apparel”, I continue as I put my feet on the small wooden table in my living room. I sigh; it’s just always something with that dude. “So like anyways”, I...
“You seem agitated, Bilta”, I continue speaking as I swab the velociraptor.fossil, “take a five minute recess, yo.” (5/11/2019)- “I just want to finish this project, boss”, he replies as he takes a breath, “I think that this time it is going to be family, yo.” “Don’t set yourself up for failure by expecting, too much”, I continue as I shrug, “just learn to let go of the need to constantly be certain–you can start to say that you don’t know.  I don’t know why you put so much...
“I’m not trying to be, so, popular, yo”, Bilta continues to the man.ticket.booth, “I just want to enter the snowboard.park.” (5/9/2019)- “Yes, I know”, he replies as he shrugs, “but, it’s family day–there’s a minimum of three tickets that you have to buy.  Maybe you can make a couple friends, yo?” “I am just here by myself”, he replies as he rolls his eyes, “I don’t make friends with random people on strange Planets in my free time–just give me the fucking three tickets.  Seems like a waste, though?” “Whatever–you complain too much.”...
“You need to make an enemy, yo”, I continue to digital.Bilfty2.1, “if it’s not, someone, external, then it’ll be yourself; internal.” (5/7/2019)- “I don’t like cheese”, he replies as he yawns, “that’my nemesis–I hate that shit, yo.” “Um…”, I continue speaking as I shrug, “I mean… I guess if that’s your thing–but, you should try to personify your hatred, your anger and frustration, to a person. Not like cheese, is interesting, strange–for the record, but, consider making someone, in a playful way, your arch.rival.” “Like you?”, digital.Bilfty2.1 responds as he turns his...
“You’re, obviously, just coming around here ’cause you have money problems”, I continue speaking, “yo-need a life.” (5/6/2019)- “Um…”, the man on the bike replies as he shrugs, “I sell vacuum cleaners–so were you going to buy one, yo?” “That’s not a bad idea”, I reply as I shuffle my feet on the front porch of my house, “we have tile floors–but, you can never be too careful.” “Right now”, he continues talking as he points to the small cart behind his bike, “we have buy two and...
“You’re Pretentious & Privileged: thinking that it will, always, be ok and, that, things work out, is your weakness, yo” (5/6/2019)- “Yeah–Bilfty2.1–it’s not ok taking Bilta’s hotdog when he wasn’t looking, yo.” I pause; I sip my coffee; I turn my head to him. “We are men–we don’t do that.” I pause, again; I sip my hot coffee; it’s really delicious–I love you, coffee. Thanks, Jamie–me, too! Oh-my-God, I think to myself as I put the mug down and look at the small digitalkeypad. I start typing the passcode on the small...
SOMEWHERE BETWEEN LOST AND FOUND: one man’s journey into the wilds of Wyoming and, short stories, about wrestling bears and axes (5/2/2019)- “Yeah”, I reply to Bilta as I look at the digital.book cover, “it’s about Affirmative Action and digital.Sub-Prime.Mortgages, yo.” “That’s interesting”, he continues speaking as he looks at the cover of the book in his hand. Why Eating Play-Doh on The Playground as A Child is The Only Good Thing That You’ve Done in Your Life, yo: a short story “What’s it about?”, he responds as he turns his head to me...
“Don’t make your wife, your digital.wallpaper on your digital.telephone, Bilta”, I shrug, “you’re such a pedestrian; a wanker, yo.” (5/2/2019)- He shrugs. “She’s hot?” “I don’t disgree with the basic premise of your arguement for that action–but, all the same–do like a professional: pick some random hot chick that you barely know and never talk to and put her picture on your phone as the digital.telephone.” “Does it help, yo?” “I’m not sure what it would help with”, I reply as I roll my eyes, “but… it should get you...
“Unlike you, Bilta, blogging doesn’t suck; it’s not lame; and, it’s something that I greatly enjoy in my life, yo”, I continue digital.thinking. (4/29/2019)- “Children–children”, she exclaims as she walks in to the living room in my house. “You arrived!”, I exclaim as I jump off the sofa. “Who is she“, Bilta replies as he opens his mouth and starts to droll. She turns her head to him. “Your worst nightmare, Bilta”, she replies as she punches him in the face, “I’m the new digital.companion for Jamie.” She turns her head to me; she smiles; I...
“Yes”, Bilta continues speaking to the short digital.cashier, “I am trying to find some sweet & hot digital.pet.socks, yo.” (4/25/2019)- “Aisle 12”, he replies as he continues chewing his bubblegum. “Ok”, Bilta replies as he sighs and turns around, “this isn’t that hard, yo.” He walks over to the aisle; scans the products; these look good.  He thinks as he picks the purple and blue small package off the hanger; he puts them in his pocket; he turns his head to look around; ok–I don’t think that anyone saw me, yo. He...

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