28 Jun “You know–if you have coffee and try“, I tell HR as I set down the taza, “you´re BASICALLY half way there.”
“What´s that mean?”, she asks as places her coffee in the cupholder in the spacejet.
“You know”, I reply as I turn on the left blinker, “it´s like this–there´s 2 people walking in the woods. One person cares and the other doesn´t give a fuck.”
I pause; is it a left or right at the next street?
Continuing, “like does that make sense?”
She pauses; what´s he talking about?
“No”, she replies as she rolls down the window and sticks her hand out, “that doesn´t make sense.”
“Yeah”, I reply as I grab a handful of digitalpapitas, “that´s the point–it´s just 2 people walking in the woods. Clearly, if they are together, one likes the other. I mean–have you ever taken a walk into the woods. Like, really, it´s actually not that great. I mean, like whatever, but if someone is making the effort and regularly around, it doesn´t take a rocket scientist to know that the person putting in the effort likes the other person. I mean, like really, just walking in the woods isn´t THAT great. See who is trying; that´s where I would bet.”
“I kind of get what you´re saying”, she replies as turns her head to look at the herd of cows.
“MMMOOOOOOOOOOOO”, she says as she turns her head to me, “go on, dad, moo like a cow–it´s fun.”
“Um”, I reply as I hit the right blinker, “… mmmoooo.”
I pause; I chuckle, a little bit; I smile.
“So like”, I continue speaking as I turn the digitalsteering wheel, “like it doesn´t take a rocket scientist to figure out that if he has dinner with her every night, he likes her.”
“Oh”, HR replies as she turns her head back to the herd of cows, “that´s interesting.”
“There´s a shitload of cows”, she says as she turns her head to me.
“Yeah”, I reply as I adjust the rearview visor, “I think they´re on strike until working conditions improve.”
I pause; I take a breath.
“I´m going to introduce you to an old friend”, I say as I hit the left blinker.
“Oh”, she replies as she pulls her hand back into the spacejet, “yeah… I was wondering why it was so urgent that I go with you on the mystery today.”
“Yeah”, I say as I hit the left blinker and start turning the digitalsteering wheel, “couple rules:
➡ Be polite
➡ Don´t embarass me
➡ Stop trying to make friends with my friends–like, what´s that all about?
➡ Let me lead–it´s like a dance, and I´m responsible, ultimately, so just go with what I do
➡ Wait to be spoken to–and don´t just cut into the conversation. You will know when you are expected to answer.
➡Don´t asking probing questions–keep it surface level. It´s the first time meeting–so don´t bite your foot where you can´t go back, or it´s
➡ And, that brings me to the last rule–don´t make it awkward. Thanks.
“So”, HR replies as she turns her head, “how do you know this person?”
“You know”, I reply as I pick up my coffee and take a sip, “just an old friend.”
I turn my head to look at the small barn; I pause; I smile; I turn my head to look forward; I pause; I turn up the RadYo; I turn my head to HR.
“This is the song I was talking about”, I say as I tap my fingers on the digitalsteering wheel.
The singer keeps singing… work and working and making and happening. That´s the shit that´s making it shattering.