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Captain Of Your Future

“Really, the only people that are going to like you are the ones that think they are better then you.” (1/8/2019) - The writer shifts in his seat. I pause; I take a sip of coffee; I turn to look out the window; there´s 15 surfers, a dude selling hotdogs and a lady sunbathing. “So”, I continue speaking as I pick up a biscotti, “you want to convince people that they are better then you–but you don´t want to do it with guilt trips or complaining.  People hate complainers!  Crybabys are the worst.”...
“Relax, agresivo. I know that you are having fun but you are bigger then them, and you are scaring the lwentqs.” (12/5/2018) - A small lwentq scurries away and into a bush on the side of the small river.  I turn my head back to Bilta. “You know”, I reply as I take a bite of my ham sandwich, “it may be fun and games to you–but you are a lot bigger then a lwentq and, to them, you are scary.” “But, I´m just joking around!”, Bilta replies as he starts to pout. “Take...
“When you´re always wanting, you never appreciate what you have. That´s when and why you lost it.” (11/15/2018) - “What´s that mean?”, the writer asks as he leans back in his chair at the cafe. “The tab”, I reply as I lean forward and pick up my taza, “you always want another coffee–you never take the time to appreciate, to enjoy, to savor, the cup that you currently have.  And, you always want another one, even before you are done with your current one, and then I have to...
“At some point, you´re just going to say fuck it and you´re going to do what you´ve been putting off (9/23/2018) - and that´s when your life is going to start.” The writer shifts in his seat; how´d he know that I have been putting off buying an anniversary gift for my girlfriend? I continue speaking as I pick up the taza. “Until you get over the fear hump–the thing that you are putting off–you will be living out of fear and not love.  It´s not living–it´s existing.  It´s not happy–it´s flat-lining-“ I...
“This is why I like to have a heavy blanket at night when I sleep–I feel secure”, I tell the writer as I shift in my seat. (9/8/2018) - “That´s interesting”, he replies as he zips up his black hoodie, “so why do I have to wear a black hoodie, again?” “Solidarity.” “With who?” “The penguins.” “I want to be in the group of penguins.” “We respect them and show them this by a simple act–wearing a black hoodie.” “Do they understand what we are doing?” “Doubtful.” “Well then”, he replies as he reclines his seat in the spacejet,...
“It´s just you and your kayak going down the whitewater rapids–you can´t control the river.” (8/19/2018) - “Never been whitewater rafting or kayaking”, the writer replies. “Yeah”, I reply as I pick up my taza, “I read about them in the Earth log´s. Looks like fun!” “That´s cool–so do you want to get back to the 5 things about you?” “Not really”, I say as I take a sip, “I prefer not to talk about me.” “Oh!”, he replies as he takes a sip of his coffee, “that´s...
“Well you know, I have 17 followers on my HandLive account–and, it´s a lot of pressure. When I go to the gym, they go to the gym.” (7/23/2018) - I pause; I want the punchline to be super sweet so he thinks that I´m awesome… and go! “You know that it´s like I´m constantly teaching a spinning yoga digital cooking class in front of a crowd”, I take a sip of coffee; I raise my hand. “More sugar”, I tell the waiter. I continue as I recline in my chair. “I mean what kind of shit show would it be...
“Hey–can you solve all the problems in the world? Also, we´re not going to pay you. It´s due at 2pm Tuesday. Thanks!” (7/11/2018) - I roll my eyes; she thinks this is funny. “HR”, I say as I recline my chair in the kitchen, “it´s not funny–I really need to borrow the spacejet this afternoon.” “Dad”, she replies as she reaches over for the digitalpalomitas, “I thought that you could do anything?” I pause; her point is valid. “Ok”, I reply as I lean forward in my chair and take a sip of coffee, “how about...
“I really want a moat in front of the house”, I tell HR as I strum through the digitalnewspaper. (7/8/2018) - “Hun”, my wife says as she turns her head to me, “don´t forget about alligators!” I pause; I want to really think this out? I continue, “two sharks. I also want there to be two sharks in my moat in front of the house!” She pauses. “That´s nice.” I pause; I´m a genius, right? “I would not have pink flamingos in front of the house in the moat. No, I won´t do...
“You know–the smart bullfighter doesn´t attack–he waits. Once the charge is on, the skill is in knowing how to move”, (7/4/2018) - I tell the barista as I set down the coffee. “Yeah”, he says as rolls his eyes, “that´s great. Again, I told you that I don´t speak English.” He pauses; he puts his hands down. “TURN OFF YOUR DIGITAL TRANSLATOR.” I pause; oh… that´s why he didn´t laugh at my joke. It was a funny joke. I mean not my funniest–but I thought it was funny…. you know… at least, a...

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