Captain Of Your Future » Y G H M®: the stories, yo
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Captain Of Your Future

“So, shark.fest #4 has been cancelled; instead, we’re doing shark.quest #5”, I reply, “we’re looking for the biggest shark out there, yo.” (7/11/2019)- “Why don’t we just have another event, yo?”, Bilta replies as he shuffles in the recliner in my living room, “they seem like they have been successful.” I shrug. “We were cancelled”, I reply as I roll my eyes, “they want something bigger and better then shark.fest–we were bumped out of prime time and put on the public access channel on Dorinto.  There’s literally only like seven people that watch...
“So, for our next project–we are building a swimming pool; not full-size; slightly, bigger then small, yo”, I exclaim as I sip my soda, “with a, large, diving board.” (7/9/2019)- “Frankly”, Bilta replies as he scans the digital.blueprints, “I’m stumped–I have no clue why we are doing this.” “Sharks.” I pause; I sip my soda; refreshing. “Sharks”, I continue speaking as I look at the 24×36 plans, “we want to start preparing for shark.fest #4 by installing an inground alberca, yo.  We can get some real practice in one-on-one combat with a nurse shark.” “No great whites?” “Oh no!”, I reply...
“I, like, to stay in the middle; avoiding both extremes, I focus on my goals and ambition”, I calmly explain to Bilta, “so do your own thing, yo.” (7/8/2019)- “So I shouldn’t fight the sharks, yo?”, Bilta replies as he scratches his chin, “it seemed like a good idea, at the time.” “I’m not saying that it was the worst of ideas”, I respond as I grab a bag of digital.papitas from the small wooden table, “but, you need to think ahead.  You got too aggressive and put yourself in a bad position.  You overstretched your abilities and were...
“You’re a dime-a-dozen avoider; your actions create your feelings; influencing the life that you have”, I respond to Bilta, “how’s the cage?” (7/2/2019)- “It seems pretty secure”, he replies in the waterproof.telephone, “the second hammerhead shark looks angrier and bigger then the first–I am really hoping that this cage is going to hold, yo.” I sigh. “We reinforced it with #12 steel beams and added chicken wire so that you can’t stick your claws out to pet the ferocious beasts in the middle of the death match during shark.fest in the pool.” “That’s...
“Don’t leave the, small, digital.diving.cage when the sharks, yo, are circling”, I warn Bilta over the digital.telephone, “wait for the porpoises.” (6/28/2019)- “So, like”, Bilta replies into the waterproof.digital.telephone, “what am I supposed to do again on this mission, yo?” “Nothing”, I continue speaking as I turn up the volume on the digital.TV, “just, like, let the people see you in the cage through the plexiglass window–it’s a hands on nature exhibit to show the symbiotic relation that can exist between you, a velociraptor, and a nurse shark.” “I’m kinda scared of...
“Great job, team!”, I continue to Bilta and digital.Bilfty2.1, “now, quickly, read these big digital.books for engineers and doctors.” (6/23/2019)- “But”, Bilta replies as he sits down on the couch in my living room, “we didn’t, really, do anything, yo!” “Thank God!”, I reply as I wipe the sweat off my brow and grab a cold soda, “for once, you just shut up and didn’t cause problems–thank you!” “I took a couple pictures of the site walk”, digital.Bilfty2.1 responds as he grabs a bag of digital.papitas, “I’m, like, helpful and...
“Relax, digital.Bilfty2.1”, Bilta calmly explains as he taps his shoulder, “do what humans, normally, do–punch him in the face, yo.” (6/19/2019)- “When should I do that, Bilta?”, he asks as he takes a deep breath, “like… normally or is this the time to use my bad timing, yo?” “The secret”, Bilta replies as he takes his hand off his shoulder, “is to wait until he has something hot in his hand–then wham in the kisser.  So, like, tell him that you feel bad about how things went and that you want...
“Bilta–I’m going to teach you how to make the best espresso, yo”, I exclaim as I sigh, “first: punch yourself in the face; there’s no second step.” (6/13/2019)- “I don’t think that is going to make a good coffee, boss”, Bilta replies as he sighs. “Yeah”, I continue speaking as I roll my eyes, “it won’t make the drink taste any better but it will be a, fucking, good story, yo.” “I don’t disagree with what you are saying”, he responds as he turns his head back to the digital.TV, “but, it’s, just, that it would hurt.” I...
“Bilta–I’m going to hire you and digital.Bilfty2.1 on the cactus project; salary, health, dental, vision, retirement plan, yo.” (5/30/2019)- “Hold on, boss”, Bilta replies as he sets his digital.laptop on the small wooden table in my living room, “I’m writing in my blog, yo.” “What’s it say?”, I reply as I turn my head to him, “anything good? Juicy gossip and shit?” “It’s not, anything, great”, he replies as he slides the laptop towards me, “but, you can check it out.” I lean forward and pick up the small...

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