25 Jun “Hey HR–I´m looking at book titles. Which one was it?”, I ask as I scan the row at the library.
“Um”, she replies through the digitaltelephone, “I think it was called How I Made A Million* *Using profanity and wit or, maybe, it was How To Retire at 29* *Pants not included! or maybe
“Yeah”, I reply as I pick it up from the shelf, “I´m looking at it right now–I´ll buy it as a graduation gift. But, promise me, that you will read it and take good care of it.”
“Sure”, she replies as I hear the coffeemaker start, “you got it.”
“Hey”, I say as I turn and take a step down the aisle, “save a cup for me.”
“Ok”, she responds as I head the fridge open, “sure thing.”
I set the book down on the counter; the cashier rings it up; the bagger stuffs it into a shopping bag; I pick it up and turn to leave the store.
“Oh wow!”, HR replies as she opens the bag and looks at the gift, “it looks AWESOME!”
“Thanks”, I reply as I pull out the chair and sit down at the table, “it was the last copy that they had left.”
“Yeah”, HR replies as she pulls her chair out and sits down, “everyone is talking about it!”
I pause; I did a good thing.
“Yeah”, I reply as I pick up my taza, “the cashier said that it was the IT book of the summer.”
“I think it will be”, she replies as she takes a sip of coffee, “I can´t wait to go to the beach with my girl wolfpack–sit on the beach and read.”
I pause; I lean back in my chair.
“Sounds like fun!”
I pause, again.
“Don´t forget about your mom”, I say as I lean forward in my chair and set down the taza.
HR rolls her eyes; how could I?
“I saw that”, I reply as I reach over for the palomitas, “she´s not bad.”
“Yeah”, she replies as she pushes the container of palomitas towards me, “I know.”
My wife takes a step into the kitchen.
“Were you talking about me?”
I pause; HR pauses; the dog in the corner tilts his head.
“I got a new book for the beach”, HR says as she picks up the paperback and holds it up, “it looks good!”
“Oh yeah”, my wife replies as she takes a step towards the coffeemaker, “I read that one–it´s ok.”
“Hashtag-spoiler-alert”, HR replies as she sets the book back down on the table.
“Oh well”, she says as she puts it back in the shopping bag, “still look foward to checking it out when we head out to the beach.”
“Any questions?”, I ask as I turn on the dimmers in the auditorium.
A person stands up.
“Yeah”, she says as I turn the spotlight to her chair, “why did you have two similiar titles of books but strangely different names for them?”
“Ah”, I say as I lean back in my chair in the kitchen.
I lean forward and pick up my taza; I speak into the microphone.
“Because I can”, I say as I hit drums on the keyboard and the music starts playing softly in the space.
I put the spotlight on the exit behind the last row; slowly the crowd starts to file out; moments later, the place is empty with the exception of one person.
I pause; I lean back in the chair; I lean forward and speak into the microphone.
“Why are you still here?”
The person stands up from the chair; looks around.
“Where am I?”
“Excuse me”, I say through the microphone.
“Yeah”, she says as she bends over and picks up her bookbag, “I must have fallen asleep. Is this Intro to the World of Dinosaurs 104?”
I chuckle; not the first time this has happened.
“No”, I reply through the microphone, “that´s actually in Auditorium 201. You´re in Auditorium 102. Transposition.”
She turns and takes a step to leave the aisle; as a second thought, I suppose, she turns her head back to the stage. She pauses. She turns back to the exit of the row. Moments later, she leaves the auditorium.
I pause; that was strange.
“What´s to eat?”, HR asks as she takes a step into the kitchen.
“Digitalpollo”, my wife says as she pulls the platter out of the oven.
“Sounds great”, she replies, “I could eat the right side of a rhinocerous.”