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“I want to destroy my competitors, boss”, Bilta replies as he plops two heaping spoonfuls of digital.potato salad on my plate.
I roll my eyes; amateur.
“I want”, he continues speaking as he grabs four hotdogs off his plate and places them on mine, “to be the only one out there.”
“It, just, is”, I reply as I shrug, “businesses help. They are not about making money, selling a product or offering a service. They help. That’s the whole point of them–why don’t you go talk to other business owners about how you two can partner up? It’s actually very easy. Consider a contract; consider making a partnership with those around you–help. That’s the point, you want to be invaluable. People going to you 24/7 to have you solve their problems–the best customer, and promotion, is people coming to you, not you going to them.”
“I don’t want to go to my customers, yo?”
“That’s creepy”, I reply as I grab the bottle of ketchup, “why don’t you have an office or store where people go, maybe a website–it’s relatively easy and simple. I don’t know why you are making this difficult. Go to other business owners and say I have this and think that your service or product would be a good fit. Do promotions and give opportunities to others–they will break down the door to give you money.”
“I want people breaking down my door, yo.”
“You probably actually don’t, literally”, I reply as I dip my hotdog in the ketchup, “but, figuratively, in a business sense, it’s the way to go–have people coming to you with money. Don’t worry about the person’t opinion that doesn’t intend to pay you–wait until people pay you to listen to what is going on. Until they pay you, they are competitors, competing business owners, they don’t want your success–if they buy a product or service, listen to their feedback to improve.”
“I want four star reviews.”
“Not everyone can get four stars”, I reply as I sigh, “you would have to be abnormally good, and, probably, very attractive. It just doesn’t happen to anyone–you need to know your shit.”
“I am just getting started with this blogging stuff, yo.”
“Before you type another word”, I continue speaking as I take a bite of hotdog, “send an email to your competitor to say hi. Before they randomly stumble upon you, contact them and say hi–probably want to hold off on sending a fruit basket, but consider making an introduction. Something friendly, but professional; something you.”
“I’m a great person, boss”, Bilta replies as he sticks his spoon into the potato salad, “I help a lot of people, regularly.”
“Well, then”, I reply as I take another bite, “you should have no problems getting a business going–what do you have to help out?”
“You can’t start a taxi service without a car.”
“You can’t start a restaurant without food.”
“There you go, yo!”, I reply to Bilta as I shuffle on the bench at the picnic table, “so, like, why did we come to this cookout again?”
“I thought you said that you knew the host?”
I shrug; I roll my eyes; why’s he always default to me.
“I said that I need a hose to wash the car–not a host to watch the Cars!”