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“Business is not competition; it’s partnerships and alliances”, I repeat to Bilta, “so give me your hotdogs and two scoops of potato salad, yo.” (7/21/2019)

“I want to destroy my competitors, boss”, Bilta replies as he plops two heaping spoonfuls of digital.potato salad on my plate.

I roll my eyes; amateur.

“I want”, he continues speaking as he grabs four hotdogs off his plate and places them on mine, “to be the only one out there.”

“That’s dumb.”

“Why?”

“It, just, is”, I reply as I shrug, “businesses help.  They are not about making money, selling a product or offering a service.  They help.  That’s the whole point of them–why don’t you go talk to other business owners about how you two can partner up?  It’s actually very easy.  Consider a contract; consider making a partnership with those around you–help.  That’s the point, you want to be invaluable.  People going to you 24/7 to have you solve their problems–the best customer, and promotion, is people coming to you, not you going to them.”

“I don’t want to go to my customers, yo?”

“That’s creepy”, I reply as I grab the bottle of ketchup, “why don’t you have an office or store where people go, maybe a website–it’s relatively easy and simple.  I don’t know why you are making this difficult.  Go to other business owners and say I have this and think that your service or product would be a good fit.  Do promotions and give opportunities to others–they will break down the door to give you money.”

“I want people breaking down my door, yo.”

“You probably actually don’t, literally”, I reply as I dip my hotdog in the ketchup, “but, figuratively, in a business sense, it’s the way to go–have people coming to you with money.  Don’t worry about the person’t opinion that doesn’t intend to pay you–wait until people pay you to listen to what is going on.  Until they pay you, they are competitors, competing business owners, they don’t want your success–if they buy a product or service, listen to their feedback to improve.”

“I want four star reviews.”

“Not everyone can get four stars”, I reply as I sigh, “you would have to be abnormally good, and, probably, very attractive.  It just doesn’t happen to anyone–you need to know your shit.”

“I am just getting started with this blogging stuff, yo.”

“Before you type another word”, I continue speaking as I take a bite of hotdog, “send an email to your competitor to say hi.  Before they randomly stumble upon you, contact them and say hi–probably want to hold off on sending a fruit basket, but consider making an introduction.  Something friendly, but professional; something you.”

“I’m a great person, boss”, Bilta replies as he sticks his spoon into the potato salad, “I help a lot of people, regularly.”

“Well, then”, I reply as I take another bite, “you should have no problems getting a business going–what do you have to help out?”

“Huh?”

“You can’t start a taxi service without a car.”

“You can’t start a restaurant without food.”

“There you go, yo!”, I reply to Bilta as I shuffle on the bench at the picnic table, “so, like, why did we come to this cookout again?”

“I thought you said that you knew the host?”

I shrug; I roll my eyes; why’s he always default to me.

“I said that I need a hose to wash the car–not a host to watch the Cars!”

[social_warfare]

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10 LESSONS ON BEING GREEDY AND CHEAP AS A DIGITAL.BOOMER: how spending more in less places makes all the difference, yo (7/21/2019)

“I am not cheap and I think that buying ten pairs of black tennis.shoes is a sign of good judgement, yo”, I reply as I shuffle on the bench at the beach, “I make several good choices, regularly.”

“You know what’s a good choice?”, Bilta replies as he sips his coffee and looks at the surfers in the water.

“Ham sandwich, yo?”

“Usually”, he replies as he shrugs, “but, let’s get to the foundation of the argument–instead of spending in several places, make a couple good investments.  Both in your business and in your life, and you’ll find success–I guarantee it.”

“That sounds like a cheap rip off?”

“The point”, Bilta replies as he opens his backpack, “is that, rather, then just buying cheap shit–buy less and more quality.  Money follows money; invest money in you and your business, and you’ll get money out.  Keep taking the cheap way and you’ll just be fucking yourself, really–it feels good to buy things on bargain, but you feel good to buy things that are quality.”

“Why are you saying this, yo?”

“I want to be compensated, also digital.Bilfty2.1”, Bilta replies as he turns his head to me, “I want you to invest in me–then, the ROI in your business will improve.  If you put money into your employees, you will have better employees–a business is just it’s employees.”

“I’m happy with how business is going, yo”, I reply as I sip my soda, “we seem to be doing ok.”

“Yeah”, Bilta responds as he sips his coffee, “we are doing ok–other businesses are doing great.  That’s the point–the leader or average today will be far behind tomorrow.  What works today will become obsolete in time–if you are not leading the pack, the view don’t change.  If you don’t pay me and digital.Bilfty2.1 more money, we won’t be as inclined to help.”

“I will pay you, Bilta, yo, more.  But, I won’t pay digital.Bilfty2.1 more.  You have the courage to demand it to my face–I respect that.  I will give you more money–but, I’m not paying more money to someone who doesn’t show up.  You may feel good arguing for his benefit, but I want an employee, someone, who argues for themself.  You get more; his doesn’t change.  If he wanted more, he can come to me–but, now you have that so he doesn’t, and can’t get it.  You get more money for being the one to fight for it–he doesn’t get more for you being his advocate.

“I want him to make more, yo.”

“Well then pay him”, I reply as I sip my soda, “you want him to have more money–give it to him.  It is your decision not to give him money, don’t complain to me about that.  I am giving you more salary–so are you going to share or donate to him?”

“I would prefer not”, Bilta replies as he sighs and turns his head back to the water, “I have responsibilities and commitments–I can’t just give money to someone because someone else got paid.”

“Exactly!”, I respond as I reach into my backpack and grab a ham sandwich, “you can only spend a dollar one time.”

[social_warfare]

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“Staring at a blank page is liberating; knowing that it is your thoughts, and actions, that write it, is freeing–your blog sucks, yo.” (7/19/2019)

“I think that it is ok, yo!”, Bilta replies as he slides the digital.laptop towards him on the small wooden table in my living room.

I pause; I sip my soda; it’s refreshing.

“I spent 0.653830 nanoseconds working on it; it’s got several big words and makes a somewhat compelling read.”

“It’s going to compell me to throw your computer into the digital.trash can”, I reply as I roll my eyes, “you did absolutely nothing–it’s merely an argument for your greatness.  Instead of writing about you; write what you know–that means to get clear, and grounded, with reality.  That’s the value; that’s what you want to write.  When you clear the bullshit away; when you stop and accept; when you get clear with your reality–what do you find? Tell us–it could help someone.”

“I want to help someone, yo!”

“No, you don’t”, I respond as I shrug, “you have clinical depression–you want to help you.  You are using your blog to look for sympathy; you want people to pity you to like you.  We won’t do that–we will just push you aside and go on with our day.  Instead, what you need to do, or want to do, is just be straight-forward; avoid jargon and cliches.  Write neutral, about reality, as you see it.  That’s your opinion.”

“I don’t have any opinions.”

“Stop–sigh and say something.  That will be your headline–from there, where does the story, or post go?  Consider leaving it to 500-3k words, for the reader, depending how often you publish.  It will be cathartic and you will cry at times writing your realizations; you will constantly want to hold back or censor yourself; let it go, the need to downgrade yourself, and be honest–that’s the word that I am looking for It’s Honest.”

“I am honest”, Bilta replies as he sighs, “kinda, somewhat.”

I roll my eyes as I take another sip of soda; I wish that he would get to the point quicker.

“Then”, I continue speaking as I set my can of soda on the table, “you will want to end on a piece of wisdom–something that makes the reader think.  I, personally, always end on a cliff hanger; others end on a positive note.  It’s going to be, ultimately, your style and how you write.  You will have to figure out how you write–then, put it out into the world and see who is interested.  It won’t be your friends and family, instead consider that it could be someone on a different planet that stumbles upon you and feels an attachment; look at forming a relationship with the reader–give them something to consider.”

“Do I want to tell them what to do or what happened, yo?”

“No–never”, I reply as I shuffle on the couch in my living room, “never say what happened to you–instead say what you learned, honestly.  Don’t make it, or write, about you, write about what you realized; not necessarily learned.  No one cares what you think you know–they care what you know.”

“Can you help me find a new title for the blog post, yo?”

“Sure, loser”, I reply as I turn my head to the digital.TV, “first–keep it present tense and first person.  Use this as a title:

My Life Is Out Of Luck and I Have No Hope: a brief story about losing yourself to find something more, and better, in Thailand

“That sucks, yo.”

“They all, Bilta, do.”

[social_warfare]

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“You will be called everything before you are champion; you´ll have thick skin and an iron backbone; also, pass the digital.ketchup, yo.” (7/18/2019)

Bilta reaches over the picnic table at the small park on the outskirts of Dorinto; he grabs the bottle; he passes it to me.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome”, he replies as he smiles, “always happy to help a friend, yo.”

“We’re not friends”, I reply as I shrug, “you work for me–I’m your boss and own you.”

“You don’t own me”, he replies as he shrugs, “I am here because I enjoy your company and want to work; I don’t need to do anything.  It is all a work of pleasure.

“It would be a pleasure to punch you in the face”, I reply as I pour ketchup on my plate.

I grab a hotdog and dip it into the sauce.

“That’s disgusting, yo”, Bilta exclaims as he starts at me take a bite of the hotdog.

“It’s how I eat hotdogs–I don’t cover them in sauce, I dip them in it.  It’s just how we do things in Dorinto.”

“I’ve never seen anyone else do that”, he replies as rolls his eyes, “like, literally, never one–in the history of hotdog eating, no one has ever dipped on in ketchup before taking a bite.”

“It could happen?”, I respond as I turn my head to the digital.pinata fest, “you ever hit a pinata, Bilta?”

“Once, when I was a kid–no, I’m just kidding, I’ve never hit a pinata.”

“It’s fun”, I continue speaking as I dip my hotdog back in the ketchup, “it’s adrenaline–everyone singing Dale Dale Dale.  You will get lost in the moment and become a stick wielding fucking madman, or velociraptor.  Then, when the fucking candy comes out–oh my God, it’s fucking insanity!!!!  I can’t even begin to explain the rush of the pinata and candy.  You have to experience it once in your life, yo.”

“Nah”, he replies as he picks up his soda, “I’m fine–I literally don’t care.  There are many things that people say that I should do and try but I’m cool.”

“Hardly”, I respond as I look at digital.Bilfty2.1 spinning the sweat tunes that make the people’s feet move at the DJ booth, “but, you should try it one time.  Consider living a little.  Hit the fucking pinata and hope for candy.”

“That sounds aggressive.”

“That’s what we do”, I respond as I roll my eyes, “we are aggressive and dangerous–we start our lives beating the shit of paper princesses to get a couple handfuls of candy.  There’s literally nothing more barbaic–it’s fucking great.  Try it and unleash the beast in you.  It’s cathartic to attack a princess pinata as a young girl.”

“How”, he replies as he sighs, “would you know anything about that, yo?”

“HR was young once–she liked the pinata.  Fucking ninja, if you ask me, really.”

“Ninja business, yo?”

“Hardly”, I respond as I dip my half eaten hotdog back in the ketchup, “but, all the same, you should try it sometime–just experience it.  You probably won’t like it and it’s not as great as I keep yelling, but, all the same, don’t die before you beat the shit, candy, out of the pinata.”

[social_warfare]

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