26 Jun “Happy Birthday, HR! I got you a cake!”, I say as I place the pastel on the kitchen table, “hey–it´s really delicious!”
“Um”, she replies as she puts her finger in the frosting, “thanks… but it´s not my birthday.”
I pause; oh… maybe that was my other kid?
My wife gets up from her chair at the table, “well HR… you can still eat it.”
HR pauses; I lean back in my chair.
I´m cool as fuck.
Not really, my wife thinks back to me.
“So it´s a short seminar today”, I tell the class in the auditorium.
I pause; I lean forward and pick up my taza; I take a sip.
I pull the microphone closer to me.
“What we´re going to do today is discuss writing in an assertive manner–own your words, own your mind, own your life.”
I pause; that was good too–I really need to write these things down.
“So”, I speak through the microphone, “non-violent communication.”
A student stands up; I move the spotlight to them.
“Why are you so demanding on how we talk?”
“It matters”, I say as I lean back, “if you can examine, understand, and alter your communication–it really does have an impact. Infering value by naming something can make it important--if you give something value, it will become valuable. In this sense, the words that you say DO MATTER. Speaking from a first person means that you exist–speaking to a 3rd person, him or her, means that THEY MATTER, the person. Saying YOU means that you acknowledge that it´s not just about you–there are other people. When you imply the first person, and talk in a direct manner–you can change everything.
Can´t wait for your book!
This sentence seems rather innocuous on the surface–but look deeper and understand, then internalize what it means. The I is silent–the person speaking, the individual, is implied, not expressed. YOUR BOOK is a possesive–it means that it´s yours–not mine. These things, these small things, do matter–try speaking this sentence. It will make you consider things that may not be obvious, at first–you exist and you own something. It is very challenging to write–every word has a meaning relative to the recipient. Rather then communicating in a way that has a double meaning, by being straight forward, and avoiding ambiguities, we try to write or talk in a manner that leaves little room for misintrepretaion–but this is also not our responsibility. Just like your life–you see things as you are. I can´t control you. You are in charge of yourself–this may make you think something that is not directly implied. I can´t change that–however, you can. Does this make sense? It has to do with the fact that a sentence, such as
I ran for a mile today.
Means one thing in a neutral sense–but it also makes you think. When I say YOU, I mean the observer–the audience. I ACTUALLY go to great lengths to remove any negative connotations that may arise through communication–I´m trying to make you think nothing but what is written directly. In this sense, if I say something, I talk a lot, and I think that it will trigger a negative response, in you, then I will rewrite to attempt to minimize the secondary meaning.
I actually go through a lot of trouble not to put thoughts into your head, or make you think things–I´m really just trying to be straight forward and honest, but everyone sees things different–as they are. I can´t control your behavior, your past, your future or how you interpret, or assume meaning. There are 416 people on Dorinto–that means that sentence will have 416 different meanings–but really, the meaning, is, and what I try to go for, just what it says. I exercised today and I jogged for one mile today–in the time between waking and falling asleep. The meaning, or how you see it, is on you–maybe you should consider that?
When one door closes, another opens.
This is literal–and how I mean it to say. Still you look for meaning–it means THIS or THAT. It is about how you need to have meaning. Frankly, I think you just need a life. Make sense?”