“At some point, you´re just going to say fuck it and you´re going to do what you´ve been putting off

and that´s when your life is going to start.”

The writer shifts in his seat; how´d he know that I have been putting off buying an anniversary gift for my girlfriend?

I continue speaking as I pick up the taza.

“Until you get over the fear hump–the thing that you are putting off–you will be living out of fear and not love.  It´s not living–it´s existing.  It´s not happy–it´s flat-lining-“

I take a sip of coffee; everyone has something that they know that they should do but aren´t.

“Maybe it´s talking to someone with experience”, I pause as I take a sip of coffee, “or it´s saying hello to an old friend; it´s something that you have catastrophized in your head to the point that a mountain of resistance has built from a mole hill of worry.  You have not taken control of it; you have not taken control of your life. And you know what?”

I turn my head to the writer.

“No, what?”, he replies as he takes a sip of coffee and puts his cup down.

“It´s never that bad–not as bad as you´ve built it up.  The worry and stress in your mind has compounded the actual problem, or challenge, or situation that you are avoiding.  If you do exactly what you fear, within reason, it´s liberating.  Nothing is as liberating as having nothing to hide.  Right now, you are hiding and escaping behind a fictious construct to avoid the pain of dealing with shit; go straight to the point in your life.  If you are avoiding having  the talk, have it; if you are avoiding the situation, deal with it.  It only gets worse–the barriers that you build only grow taller.”

“I think that is intelligent.”

“I know.”

“So you want to grab a pizza?”

“Sure”, I reply to the writer as I set my taza down, “that sounds good.”

He stands up from his seat; I do the same.  I put the bill on my digitaltarjeta; we walk next door to the pizza parlor; we order a triple meat delux digitalpizza; we enjoy it; I pay the bill; we decide to return to the cafe to have another coffee and talk business.

“So I´m thinking of how to do more research on the penguins?”, I ask the writer as I pull my chair out and sit down.

“Yeah”, he replies as he does the same, “I think that getting one point of data doesn´t make a conclusion; it merely leads you to the next test–it is one piece of evidence by which we can consider the hypothesis.”

“That´s true”, I reply as the waiter hurries over and sets the coffee and taza on the table, “so we could dig more holes–or we could look at the bigger picture of penguin behavior.  We have seen them in movement; but what about when they are with their families and still? When they are not with their group, how do they behave? Which is natural–or is the whole picture the real story of them?  Maybe it is not just one situation that determines their behavior but all–or maybe it´s not situation related, but instead a mentality, a personality, that defines them; who they are?  If it is a personality–then that would be independent of others or anything external.  It would be who they are–in that sense, maybe, in one interaction, directly, or possibly indirectly, we could get a sense of who they are?  Could we extrapolate the findings to generalities?”

“We know how they, one, behaved when falling into a hole? You think that will give the full picture?”

“Do penguins have bad days? Do penguins have responsibilties? Do penguins care? Are we just transposing our behaviors on an animal–are we humanizing them to understand them?”

“Maybe we are dehumanazing them, actually?”

“What do you mean?”, I reply as I lean back in my chair.

“Did we name the penguin who fell into the hole?”

“I don´t belive so–why would we do that?”

“Because then it would be an individual, instead, we are looking at them as faceless–we should be looking at them on an individual level; study them as individuals–does one penguin make every behavior of penguins?”

Jamie Smith
therenegadeinc@gmail.com

It's all about the story, man.



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