“All you can do is not contact me again”, I declare into the digitaltelephone as I hit the power button and the device shuts off.

“What was that about?”, the writer replies as he turns his head to me.

“Telemarketers”, I reply as I pick up my taza at the small cafe by the beach, “they keep calling–I keep having to go through the same routine everytime.

“You think that they would get the point?”

“You would–but they are paid to be persistent.”

“Anything else that you can do?”

“No”, I reply as I take a sip of coffee, “that´s just how it goes.  It happens in real life as well, at times–someone won´t be prepared to get in contact with me and it just makes a mess.  It´s like when someone goes through HAKI addiction–afterwards, when they get their life in order, it takes time before they are really in a mental state to reinitiate contact.  In HAKI addiction, it´s step 9.  For me personally, it took me like 7 years before I got to that step.  With this in mind, it is ridiculous to hear someone brag about beating it yesterday–it takes time and there´s steps or levels to getting beyond it.  You don´t really realize how far you´ve come until one day, you look back–and you realize that you are NOW a different person.”

“I have never thought about stopping it”, the writer remarks as he takes a sip from his coffee.

“Yeah–you´re either all in or all out.  There´s not really a middle ground to taking control of your life–you do or you don´t.  The crazy part is that no one really waits until step 9 to get back in touch–few people ever really get that far.  Instead, you mostly get people in denial with delusional thinking–that want to dump their problems on you.  It´s called dump trucking–when you go around dumping negativity on other people.”

“I like to keep to myself–well with my girlfriend.”

“Yeah”, I reply as I take another sip of coffee, “more or less, that´s how everyone goes in time–less with friends and more with family.  Except for the people that never address their HAKI addiction–they may keep friends, HAKI enablers around for longer, and have less strong ties with their family.”

“That´s sad.”

“You know that you can live a full, somewhat, life with a HAKI addiction–it is such that you will prob always keep a job, a source of money for it, and your temperment will be such that you will have a family–although you may not treat them as well as you could.  In a way, I almost encourage people not to go all away from HAKI–I don´t think that many, or everyone, can handle taking charge of your life.  It´s intense.”

“Like dark coffee intense?”

“That´s a good way to put it”, I reply as I take another sip of coffee, “it´s like living on high–intense living but you are able to handle more.  Full living–the highs and the lows.  Keeping your cool, pushing ahead–you´ll prob be outcast from your social scene or class, as well, at some time.”

“I don´t want to lose my friends.”

“Friends are enablers.”

“I don´t think that my friends are enabling.”

“You see the world through the eyes of a person with HAKI addiction–it´s delusional thinking that is the point of waiting until you get to step 9 to address the people that have been in your life.  You, probably at step 1, don´t think that you have a problem, and you may not, but the way that you see the world in later steps is so radically different–that is the point of waiting.  It´s prob not imperative that you get in contact with anyone–work on getting you ahead in the steps, then consider what needs to be done or said–maybe a simple reintroduction.”

“How would that sound?”

“Hi”

“Yeah, hi”, the writer replies as he takes another sip of coffee and leans back in his chair, “but you didn´t answer the question.”

“I did”, I reply as I take a sip from the taza and recline, “learn to say hi when you don´t need anything–a simple act of acknowledgement when you want to contact someone that matters to you.”

“So I should wait?”

“I think we all should default to waiting until you don´t need.”

Jamie Smith
therenegadeinc@gmail.com

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