17 Aug “Maybe you´re trying to get rid of the witnesses?”, I tell the writer as I lower my black sunglasses, “you want privacy for some reason?”
“I don´t know what you are talking about?”, he stammers back to me as his hand starts shaking.
“I can see it in your face”, I reply as I take a sip from my taza and set it down on the table, “you project exactly what you are.”
“I project that I´m going to punch you in the face”, he replies as he stands up.
“And I project that you are all talk”, I reply as I lean back.
I pause; he isn´t taking this well.
“Look”, I say as I lean forward, “it´s nothing personal–it´s just that I don´t like people spying on me and my family. Why don´t you just say what you want to say? Why don´t you just be straight forward and honest? Why don´t you go to the source of your problem rather then avoiding it? You´re just prolonging the agony for you and those around you. Look at the bigger picture and how your actions affect those around you–that should be your motivator. Your motivation to go to therapy, and then get out; to look at a 12-step program; to develop a sense of self sufficiency that you own you; you are in charge of your life.
Until you are in position to give back financially and emotionally in your community–you´ll just be taking.
Taking people´s resources that are best left to their responsibilities–personal responsibility should first be the basis of your actions before you look outside for answers. Are you standing on your own or leaning on too many people? Are you afraid of people seeing what you are doing? Do you have peace of mind that if your life was opened up to the public, you would be fine? Does your private life create an asset or a liability for you? Can you lay your cards on the table at the end of the game, and have peace of what people will see? You can bluff to win but a good hand beats a bluff, if played out.”
I turn my head back to the writer.
“Will people say that you care? What do people say about you? Are you the only advocate of your greatness or do other people spread how awesome you are before you get there, and after you leave?”
“You want me to leave?”
“I would prefer.”
“That´s all you had to say.”
“Oh no”, I reply as I take out the small pocket recorder, “if I did that I wouldn´t have this sweet speech for my newest post. Thanks for role playing with me.”
“Sure!”, he replies as he sits back down at his chair.
“So I want you to write your articles that way–direct, agressive and hostile towards others. Really punch people in the face with your writing–stun them with words then deliver a finishing blow with an arguement that they didn´t see coming.”
“That makes sense.”
“I normally do.”
“How many words do you need?”
“500 – 800.”
“When do you need it?”
“When you´re done?”
“Do I get paid?”
“I think a better question is–do I get more work next? Is this something that is going to be reliable to continue forward? Rather then one writing project here and there, having steady work coming in and going out will allow you to start putting together a plan for how you will, and can, live your life.”
“So I want to see what happens before making plans?”
“Start seeing what happens in your life–you can make the best plans but a pregnancy or meeting the one can change everything drastically in a moment. It could be something like wearing the wrong sports team´s jersey in public that could make a small change–that could lead to an entirely different life; path in your life. Small changes are all we have–and meeting the person of your dreams could start with something as innocuous as ordering a soda instead of a drink at the bar. You never know how things will play out–keep strong by knowing the cards you are playing with in your hand. Trust that when the cards are put down on the table, if everyone hasn´t bowed out, a good hand beats a bluff, right?”