“When you do things to be cool, it, kinda, by default, makes you uncool when people find out.”

“What are you talking about”, the writer asks as he slams his coffee on the table at the small cafe by the beach.

“I know”, I reply as I pick up my taza and take a sip, “that you have been sneaking HAKI in the evenings.”

I pause; you only have one chance to say it this way… be dramatic.

“I know”, I continue speaking as I take another sip, “that you think you are being cool, but the reality is that people who do things to be cool or fit in, aren’t.  It’s about it being natural–it’s about being yourself and seeing how your hand plays out.  No one likes a cheater–especially if they are doing it to impress someone.  Someone who probably doesn’t give two rats about them, and is just pretending to be interested or in awe.”

“I don’t think that’s how the expression goes”, the writer says as he picks up a napkin and starts wiping up the mess, “I think

“And furthermore”, I continue as I use my outside voice, “if you want to be cool–stick to yourself.  Do things by yourself in private that you aren’t afraid of being found out–the only secret that you should keep is how cool you are.  And, by cool, I mean how well you have it together–how well you manage.  How you are acing personal responsibility–how you are large and in charge of you, your thoughts and your actions.  It is easy to slide by or pretend for others, but do you have peace at night?”

“You know”, the writer replies as he stands up from his chair, “I’ve had enough abuse–you don’t know me.  You don`t know what it is like to be me.”

“Of course”, I reply as I lean back in the chair, “you have autonomy, if you decide to.”

“What does the mean?”, the writer asks as he turns around and takes a step to leave.

“It means that you are fortunate in that you can decide what you do”, I reply as I turn my head to look out the window, “you have the option to leave this cafe if you want…. well… I would prefer if you pay your share…. and you have the option to leave this planet–to seek out new horizons that allow you to develop a life more true.  You have the option to walk out without letting me finish this conversation.  You have the option to do many things–ultimately, you have the option to be and do what you want.  If anyone says otherwise, they are not your friend.  Make sense?”

“Words are pretty–pretty empty.”

“Don’t believe me?”, I ask as I lean forward and pick up my taza, “you’ll hurt feelings along the way; there will be a broken heart; restless nights; second-guessing is part of the path, the journey, the adventure–if you want to call it that.  It is all a progression–10,000 steps to mastery of you.  Ultimately, the option is up to you–when do you start? Do you continue? When do you rest and when do you work?”

“And”, the writer asks as he turns back around and sits down again at his chair, “where am I going? What is the destination?”

“No one knows.”

“I don’t know where I’m going?”

“I mean I don’t know where you’ll go.”

“How will I know when I arrive?”

“How do you know you haven’t already?”

“Am I there now?”

“Where is there?”

“I don’t know.”

“Where do you want to be?”

“Home.”

“Well then”, I reply as I set down my taza and lean back in my chair, “I guess you know where you need to go next?”

“Where do I go when I get there?”

“Wait”, I reply as I lean forward again and pick up my taza; I take a sip, “find out after you arrive home–see then where you need, or want, or desire, or have to go–where you choose to go? Time and thought spent on what doesn’t exist is wasted.  You know what you have to do now?  Fall in love with the mystery of the next.  Fall in love with option.”

Jamie Smith
therenegadeinc@gmail.com

It's all about the story, man.



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