I pause; I set the pen down; this is one of my best soliloquies.
“What you doin’ boss?”, Bilta exclaims as he turns his head from the surfers to me.
“I like to soliloquy when I’m by myself.”
“Write little poems–small phrases and expression to help me make sense of the world.”
“I would like to do that.”
“Everyone is a copycat”, I reply as I sigh, “I can teach you.”
“Sure thing”, he replies as he also sighs.
“Start with a word–then feel what comes next. The next word–it’s about feeling what you write and how you can control your thoughts with what you say and create. Instead of just haphazardly talking, develop a conscientious approach where you are carefully selecting your speech to influence your thoughts and by-default to manufacture your sense of self and inner feelings.”
“That sounds complicated!”
“Consider these two sentences: I like potatoes and potatoes are my favorite. You see how they basically say the same thing but in the first the object is you and in the other it is the food. Consider that you are also developing your hierarchy of worth in your subconconscious.
You value potatoes more then you?
Which of these two sentences makes you feel better to say–if you constantly are challenging your inner dialogue with more proactive self-talk then you can really start to change how you view yourself. How you feel about yourself will effect how you behave; a person that thinks that they are bad will be inclinced towards bad behavior. If you can increase your inner value through your talk, and I think that this is the easiest way, to alter how you see yourself, you can be led to better behavior. Writing these soliloquies helps me visualize how I am talking to myself–from there, I can make better choices in how I speak.
It’s like going to a doctor–they need to see what is the problem before they decide what is the fix.
You can speculate on what is wrong–a doctor, in this example, has much more knowledge, experience and expertise in this area. You can’t fix a broken leg with positive affirmations–go to the appropriate person.”
“So I shouldn’t try this at home?”
“You know you. Writing is a way to glance at what you don’t know: what you think–as you uncover more of your hidden biases and beliefs, you can see how awful you are to yourself. You know that your leg is broken from the visualizing and the pain that you feel, plus from the memory of how it happened, but now you need to do something about it–from this, consider what is the right action; a dentist has little value when you have a fractured tibula.”
“Where’s the pain?”, Bilta replies as I hand him a piece of paper from my notebook, “that’s what they would ask–show me where it hurts. I think that I can see what you are getting at–this is to show yourself how you see yourself. Where is the pain?”